I argue with electric equipment.

Aloha.
I thought it was worth sharing with the world than on the 19th May 2006 - 1:45am...
Me... and my printer... had a small argument.

For some reason it decided to begin printing some work I was doing.
As if the noise of the printer wasn't enough to tell me it was about to print, the computer had the audacity to shout:

"Printing Started."

And as the paper was ejected onto the floor, scrunched up and thrown somewhere.

"Printing Complete"

In a happy, little sarcastic voice. Deep down, I KNOW it did that on purpose, I'm tired and it's playing with my mind... Just like the (was just about to say the "f word" again) stupid, pointless, shoddily coded dictionaries in Microsoft Word, which CANNOT tell the difference between English and Francais - because Je and I - are SO similar.

Anyway. I really need to sleep.
It's 1:48. It's Friday.

Sam.

Also. Just so you know, the blog is likely to be moving soon.
I'll keep you posted.

It floats, at high speed and stuff.

Aloha,
I thought I would introduce another fancy widget type thing to the blog, ZoomCloud, I thought it looked kinda cool and it updates by itself, and well, anything that needs no work from me is a godsend.

Because I'm lazy. (And yes. I know the CSS is screwed up. But I don't care.)

Looking at it, I think I swear to much, look how big the "f word" is there...
C'est massive mes amis, I think I have issues with swearing, maybe I need some sort of therapy. Electric shock treatment? Nah.. Sounds too fun.

Perhaps I should update any of you who still read on the latest happenings at the school, in my life and such instead...

"FYI" I write what topics I need to moan\assault\mention\destory\ramble about on little pieces of paper, as I'm an idiot, I write them on lots of little pieces of paper, which like to float away when I sneeze, or move, or when a fly zooms past.
So, my thoughts are easily lost, which is a "real shame" as I have lots of interesting things to say. Like random french phrases: "Je suis un biscuit dans l'elavator".

Moving off or on? Who knows. The paper is gone, my room is a mess, but don't fear, I'll find them while tidying my room, which is like time travel, or archeology, just without the digging further and further, closer and closer to the Earth's core.

Anyway. Recent happenings?
Mainly exams.

It all kicked off on a wonderfully *insert weather here* day, where I almost (once again) broke my trusty IKEA alarm clock at 7:30.
(For those who don't know me well, I am not designed to wake up before 10am.)
So, I had a shower and set off to the bus stop to go to Starbucks with 2 Un-named Friends (Names held back for legal purposes).

A few hours and £3.10 later, friend one, who we shall call, erm Bev B..
Got some cruddy text messages from a jealous friend that wished death by muffin upon us - which is quite illogical, as it's highly unlikely for three people to be able to choke on a singular muffin. But that's not the point, around now, I'd tell you what the point is, but I've forgotten.

So, the oral exam.
It went relatively ok... But I sounded utterly retarded.
"Mais... tres... vais..." And other such words that rhyme in French.
I stopped twice. Mainly to mumble and want to die.

I think I also asked "Are you Cinema?" instead of "Do you want to go to the Cinema?"

So easy to mix up.

Well, as much as I'd love to ramble on and on, some of you have lives and will need to go eat\drink\pretend to do something else than read this blog.

Plus, I think I need some sleep, I have a Geography Exam in less than 8hours.
Which I haven't really revised for either.

So, let's see how this post changes my wonderful CSS-illiterate ZoomCloud.

Merci pour li mes amis.
Sam.

Edit:
The cloud has done sod-all. Thanks ZoomCloud. Precious Minutes Wasted.
This is the world's attempt at quashing my dreams, aspirations and such.

Aloha.

Aloha,
Well, it's been awhile.. Again.
I do actually have a reason this time though, exams are fast approaching and it seems Microsoft likes to take the fucking piss. Every time I turn on the PC, I get messages about my exams from my calendar thingy.

Ohh, haha look. THERE IS ONE NOW.
Ha, four days, ooh yay, joy!

Moving on. Microsoft Word, bloody hell, I'm typing french, it's obvious, but NOO, IT BEGINS MARKING IT IN ENGLISH? WHY? WHY WHY WHY?! DAMMIT BILL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!

I'M A THREAT?!
YES! HAHA!

_____________________________

So, exams, coming up this week. Got about 4 days left to well, learn everything from the last five years AGAIN.

Worst fears? French and English.
French Oral exam on day one, I'm so gona fail, no preperation done yet.
But sod it all.

_____________________________

Tried winning the lotto the other day, got some numbers and my dad played the new "Monday" lottery - I thought well, it's first draw is on May 8th, I kinda have to play, it's like, fate.

However, they drew after midnight. Tuesday. Therefore destroying the whole point of their name and scheme and also my chance at winning lots of money.

_____________________________

Went to town last week, twas well funkay, we began with our hunt for Barcalys, which took us to one of the busy streets, I thought our painful searching had gone on long enough as we had found every other branch of bank in the town. Completing my mental "Bank Bingo" card.

So, as we walked up this street, I screamed
"Where the hell is Barclays?"
"WE ARE LOST! Someone tell me where Barclays is!"
"I NEED MONEY"

And due to the amazing luck of me, someone shouted where it was, I shouted "Thank You" and moved to Barclays.

Now, last time I was in a bank, I was almsot removed by security, I was making stabbing motions to one of the cashiers... with a pen... while my couzin was withdrawing money.
I also jokingly told her that we were robbing the bank.

I left.
Quickly.

So, I took my seat and tried not to cause any disturbance to the kind people that told us where Barclays was.

Later, we found a weird event going on, someone had set up a catwalk in the centre of the town and had begun taking pictures of anyone who walked on the red carpet catwalk.
So, while someone was having their picture taken, I dived onto the carpet and began stroking it.
I also found myself having my crap photo taken "avec mes amis"... I'll post them when I get info.

I also saw my boss in TopMan, upstairs, with the girl stuff.
Which, you know, isn't bad. Unfortunately, I was wearing a Beret and kinda dancing around or something...

So, I thought "What's the best thing to say to your boss right now? Seeing as you're standing next to shelves of girl stuff, such as underwear?"
So, I made the connection between the Beret and having to speak, so I shouted "Bonjour!"

*Slaps forehead.*

I'm so fired.

_____________________________

Meh. That's pretty much it, as I've lost the rest of my blognotes in the apoclyptic mess that is my universe.

Must go. Must pretend to revise.

Sam.
Today's Mood: Slight Panic.
Listening To: Snow - RHCP
Message?: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Crippled Panic.

Aloha,
A few days ago, I was out "avec mes amis" and managed to get a rock thrown at my ankle...
Was quite funny, it was one of those "I'm ok!" moments... But then the crippleyness "kicked in", so to speak...

So, for the past two days I have been hopping around like some old dude, I'm just expecting to fall down the stairs and die... I think this is Karma taking revenge on Bev's knee =P

Anyhoo, it's ONLY JUST hit me that my exams are less than 11days away. I'm sure someone will correct me sometime or other and cause more anguish.

So, I have my french oral, except I haven't written or prepared for it. I'm so screwed.

Enter the Panic.
Welcome to the life of a GCSE Student.

Sam.
Don't Panic!
We're all screwed.
See you at the Bridge

What the fuck? Why are the "@ swapped round? STUPID FIREFOX UPDATE.

Public Transport Related Warning.

Aloha.
A story you may or may not have seen in the news recently may have disturbed your public transporting abilities.

This story involves the mainly unknown fact that buses actually time travel to piss commuters off. The bus makes us late or too early and makes sure we sit next to a weird hobo, drunkard or mafia member.
The sheer time-travel speed is so fast, it is completely un-noticed by regular bus-go-ers, unless you reverse your seating position, the time travel then becomes obvious as we see the stars, flames and "Whoosh" marks.

The danger is that the bus can crash 100 times in a second and then end up in another country as the GPS crap NEVER works. Also, many bus drivers are not qualified to travel through space and collected their liscense from Kellogs cereal packets.

Mr Blooblah, when questioned about his time travelling said:
"Wooooh, the stars are so pretty and distracting, then we were like, so screwed, yeh, crashing derby, like."

Reserch shows sitting backwards on a bus is not just cool, it can make you look younger but can distort the mind.
My friend Hayley was meditating at the time, this, combined with the bus's time travel and our sitting backwards caused Hayley to see interesting images, a reconstruction shown below:


Above we can see the distrubing colour changes of the road and sky.*

When asked how she was feeling Hayley was transfixed at the road:
"Whoa! The road! It's trippin man"

So. Remember this next time you find yourself bus-ing.

Sam.
I own Trafalgar Square. Thanks McDonalds!

*Please note, the wheels do not move, nor does the bus yet there are "Woosh" marks** in an attempt to make the bus look cool and swooshy. Also, we cannot see through the windows.

Why?
Why is this?
I'll tell you why.

I'm a lazy animator.

**Which actually denote the time-travelling, as I couldn't draw funky blue rings around the bus.

"Shut Up! Oi! Don't Kick Me You Fool!"

Aloha.
Well, I may or may not have mentioned this little event before but I don't care, It's like the TV Channels that show the same show over and over and you don't even notice.

I think I have an issue with authority, yes, yes I do.
Why should we be stepped on by people just because we are smaller and younger?
We fight for rights, yet our own are taken away from us?
Just because I'm 5'4" doesn't mean I should have to listen to you. Don't I have the right to sit on a bus without being verbally attacked by a forty year old stuck up bitch?

I don't think so.

Judging by the fact you might have read that paragraph twice in an attempt to understand WTF I am saying you don't know the story, so gather round, I hope you're comfortable...

The bus trundled along as usual, almost exploding, you'd think it was a very old bus, perhaps one that was saved from the scrapheap by some stupid "Save the Bus" group...
The amazing Sam (That's me, by the way) and his friend Jonny (That'll be Jonny) sat on the "Oh so fun" trip to school, which involved many stops, such as this one (Bus comes to grinding hault.)

*A tall woman, with trashed up hair steps onto the bus*
Moving out of story mode, this is what we call a "stuck up bitch", she thinks she is higher than everyone else, which kind of defeats the idea of rights and equality?

Personally, I've NEVER liked this woman, but I have had no reason to make that obvious, in the past 4 years or so of travelling on the school bus, I've had no reason to even talk to her. That changed a few weeks ago.

A little girl was sitting on the steps of the bus, PERFECTLY CONTENT with her positioning on the bus, sitting on her little coat, which was probably more comfortable than the crappy plastic bus seats anyway, but no, the earlier reffered to bitch, who has NO CONNECTION with this little girl begins to ramble about how she should have a seat.

I soon realized that she was referring to me, it was "Disgusting" how the girl had to sit on the steps. Ok, I was fine with this, she can moan all she likes, I'll just ignore her.

"It's disgusting.
They've obviouslly been dragged up through life."

How dare you? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?
You don't even know me! You don't know who I am! Yet you have the audacity to stand there and insult me, my friend and how I've been brought up?

"Shut Up."
C'mon now. It had to be said. I have the right to be able to sit on a bus and not be harrassed by someone I do not know.

"Excuse Me?"
Obviouslly, it seems I'm the first person to ever stand up to her. Surprisingly.

"I said Shut Up."
I then offered the girl my seat, just as I thought, she didn't even want it. This was pointless.
I then tried to ignore the woman, but no, she provoked the situation.
An argument ensued, one which, to be honest, I enjoyed, and won.

"I bet your mother is proud of you"
"Yes. She is."
I think.

She walked away, I left the situation as it was. I wasn't going to provoke it.
The bus stopped outside the school and as I was walking off she kicked me, in some sort of childish attempt to trip me up or whatever.

"Watch you don't trip"
"*Insert some words from either party here.*"
"THAT'S ASSAULT, SO FUCK OFF YOU STUPID BITCH"

So, I've never even talked to this woman before, I tell her to Shut Up, I give some comments and she then kicks me, grow up you stupid bitch.

The funny thing is, she avoided coming on the bus everyday until the end of term.
I saw her the other day too, I was walking down the road with a friend, I hadn't seen her for a few weeks, I thought she would have let the situation go, but no, she begins mumbling explicits.

She's reported me to the school and bus company, personally I couldn't care less.

Sam.